First project Attune ready for testing

Hi! I'm David, co-founder of Napkin. You receive this email because you signed up directly or through Napkin. I explore technology that enhances our humanity rather than diminishes it. Technology that champions compassion, preserves dignity, and maximizes well-being.

I’m finally back—and I’m bringing something special with me.

After an unexpected pause wrestling with software development and navigating my own health journey (including a challenging back surgery and clinic stay), I’m delighted to share that the first Humane in the Loop project, Attune, is now available for testing on iPhone.

Attune is dedicated to helping you repair and deepen intimate relationships, inspired profoundly by the philosophy of renowned couples therapist Terry Real.

Here’s Terry Real’s perspective in a nutshell:

Every intimate relationship moves continuously through cycles of harmony, disharmony, and repair. While harmony feels great, mastering repair is the secret ingredient for lasting, loving relationships. The tricky part of repair is that we often find ourselves emotionally triggered—and when triggered, we subconsciously revert to childhood survival strategies. These old strategies might have protected us when we were young, but they never serve us well as adults in loving relationships.

Terry Real identifies five common “losing strategies” our triggered selves, or “adaptive children,” deploy:

1. Being Right: Insisting on an objective “truth” in relational disagreements rarely helps and often worsens conflict.
2. Control: Whether overtly physical or subtly manipulative, attempting control always backfires—no one enjoys being controlled.
3. Unbridled Self-expression: Letting emotions explode onto your partner (“the barf bag approach”) only shifts the emotional burden without solving anything.
4. Retaliation: Seeing yourself as the victim and striking back transforms you from victim to aggressor.
5. Withdrawal: Shutting down and pulling away blocks meaningful connection and prevents the necessary work of repair.

Most of us instinctively resort to one or two of these. Recognizing your personal triggers and habitual reactions empowers you to take meaningful action:

• Reduce Trigger Likelihood: Minimize circumstances that typically trigger you.
• Build Awareness and Healthy Coping: When triggers do arise, engage consciously as your wise adult self, not as your adaptive child.

I found this framework incredibly insightful and actionable in my own life. That’s why I chose it for the first Humane-in-the-Loop project.

With Attune, you have natural, conversational voice sessions with an AI coach—just like making a phone call. In the background, the app analyzes your goals, identifies your triggers, offers coping strategies, and tracks your progress. Additionally, Attune includes a rich content library full of inspiring topics for future conversations.

If you’re curious about shifting your relational patterns and cultivating healthier connections, I’d love for you to give Attune a try and share your experience. This is just version one, and your feedback will guide our continual improvement until we get it just right.

Paid subscribers will receive a detailed look over my shoulder about the development process soon. From next week on, I'll be back with more frequent updates.

Much love,
David